Eternally in My Heart

Eternally in My Heart
Lord, grant Charles eternal rest in Your loving arms.

Monday, February 18, 2013

One Word's One Month Link-up

Am I just paying lip service
by saying that I will put my life
and my troubles into God's hands?

if that is true, I will accomplish nothing this whole year,
that much I know through my past,

thinking that I am a senior adult
and I should be to manage figuring out my troubles

however, I have made little progress
in handing over these problems:

to recover energy for life
to lay aside old resentments
to rid myself of harbored guilt
of the past that cannot be changed

to make the decision
of whether I want to continue living alone,
to perceive if being single
is God's will

or is His will for me
is to open myself to vulnerability
and risk rejection
when I invite someone into my life
after seven years of widowhood,

dare I entrust God?
dare I not?

usually I think when faced with indecision,
"what's the worst that can happen?"

the only result that I can perceive
is that I will continue to live alone

please pray for me

as I consider surrendering
my obstinacy and fear,
to jump with a leap of faith
and truly ENTRUST
willful self to God.

Blessed be.

Monthly Link-up


sister sheri said...

I will be praying for you. I look at "entrusting" God as a life long journey. May you find peace in knowing that He wants the very best for you and sometimes that may look different than we can ever hope or imagine. Blessings!

Norma Ruttan said...

thank you so much, Sheri!


Your lines: " to rid myself of harbored guilt
of the past that cannot be changed"...this is something, at least I think, that we all face sometime in our lives. And I know if you work at it with your faith, it will come to pass.

Norma Ruttan said...

thank you, Anni, for your encouraging comment.
I decided to put, as it were, pen to paper in hopes that I would realistically permanently leave it to God.

River Lin said...

This is beautiful, Norma! I really appreciate your sharing this! I am also really happy to see your writing! You are doing a great job! I am also going to pray for you. I wish we had time to talk about these things face to face and to explore ideas about faith more regularly. That day will come again, I'm sure. In the meantime, I'm thankful for your sharing!!