Eternally in My Heart

Eternally in My Heart
Lord, grant Charles eternal rest in Your loving arms.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Mornings with Mary: Questioning

anguish festers internally

about answers to some of the questions


in the book (Wrapped Up: God's Ten Gifts for Women) 

we’re currently using in Bible Study,

making me hesitate to address them,

let alone share the answers with others.


Although it’s understood,  

(much like in programs as AA) 

what is spoken in our meetings 

goes no where outside the room 

in which we meet.

I know why and from whence

these reservations stem.

years ago I experienced

a betrayal by a friend,

who happened to be 

the mother of a student.

in addition,

in my childhood was

an unspoken but implied rule,

that prevented me 

from sharing about my family

and its inward secrets.

but if I choose not to ponder my failures,

how else will I ever move 

beyond this inability 

to feel loved and forgiven?

I now ask the Mother of our Lord

who encompasses all that is holy

to intercede for me

and bless me

with the knowledge of acceptance

that indeed I am loved,


therefore I am forgiven.

linking with love
to Rebecca's
Mornings with Mary



3 comments:

Redondowriter said...

Whatever it was, Nonnie, you know you are forgiven. Dear me. How awful to be betrayed by a friend and publicly at a meeting where confidences stay in the room. I'm a 12 stepper myself so that would be devastating.

rebecca said...

dear nonnie,
my prayer for you is that you will be filled with complete love and acceptance. i often think of my work as a mosaic artist, the way one finds the beauty and import in every discarded piece, a broken bowl, a plate, bits of glass that have tumbled to softness on the beach, all these things that once were whole, revered and then once broken cast away. i see the value in these bits of colour and light and i reassemble them into something much more beautiful than their original state. i think the most beautiful people i know are the ones who value every part of themselves. even the broken and hurtful parts. to gather every bit of ourselves and accept that this moment in time, that decision, this regret, are all important and valuable parts of who we are. in embracing all our parts we are made more whole, and more beautiful than ever before.
may you wholeheartedly embrace yourself, and may you know peace.
xo

rebecca said...

dearest nonnie,
i am so taken with your pondering. i just spent quite a bit of time writing to you straight from my heart. and then, it vanished! please know i have been here close by your side. it is late and i must get some sleep. i will try again in the morning to pour my heart out to you. until then, know that you are deeply loved.
xo