Eternally in My Heart

Eternally in My Heart
Lord, grant Charles eternal rest in Your loving arms.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

At A Loss for Words

Here I am again, 
Lord, facing a blank page with an empty mind, 
wondering why my love for the written word 
is hampered by the inability to forge the right ones in an easy flow. 
And has my passion for photography disappeared 
or is it suffering from not being fed by frequent changes of scenery?  
I thought that I had fared so well in this past season of little light.  
I had even been able to exercise with a reasonable frequency.
  Or is it something I fear even more than death, 
the loss of myself in that dreaded disease Alzheimer?
Am I being consumed by that green devil called Envy?  
Or is it despair disguised as admiration 
thinking that those bloggers I marvel at have no problem 
with the flow of words onto the page,  
that their Muses visit them often 
with their gifts of word-weaving, 
and clear visions of just the right likeness 
to accompany their verses?  
Or, horror of horrors, 
have I approached my blogs with the wrong attitude- 
the desire of having a massive number of visitors to my sites, 
thus filling me with an inflated ego?  
This thought was sparked by reading Courtney Chowning’s 
Blogging Tips from the Fruit of the Spirit.  
I ask You, the ultimate Creator, 
to send your Spirit to fill my psyche 
with the necessary means to write, 
or help me to face the hard truth 
that my talent lies not in writing, 
only photography. 
Or perhaps my gift lies elsewhere. 
Enlighten me, I ask, through Christ, our Lord.  
Amen.


6 comments:

Lea said...

Dearest Nonnie... Your longing... is a thread to God's heart. Your desire to write and photograph and create are gifts of your spirit. Be gentle with yourself. Sometimes the silence is fertile ground... I for one have your words floating in my thoughts... posts you make, comments you leave... I was gone last week and just now getting back to visiting. I wanted to tell you that there is a labyrinth locator at www.labyrinthlocator.com You can go there and type in your town or zip code and see if there are any labyrinths near you to visit. I hope there are. Maybe you could take these prayers as you walk, let them go, and experience the next step in your beautiful path. Much love to you!

Norma Ruttan said...

Dear Lea, your words comfort me. I went to the link you gave me; unfortunately there are no labyrinths in my area, not even in our capital city of Indianapolis.

River Lin said...

Norma, so beautiful!
There is a labyrinth somewhere - I think at a Catholic convent somewhere near Tipton?? Or sometimes at your church I think there is one. Ask your priest. I will also ask around.

Norma Ruttan said...

thank you, River. What a treat to hear from you! We have the Stations of the Cross in the sunken garden. Could that be what you mean? About Tipton, I am unaware of one. There could be.

Stephanie said...

Agreeing with Lea, sometimes, the silence, the empty feeling is the space you need for creativity to come flowing through.

do be gentle with yourself, we all feel this...you are brave to reveal these thoughts, I tend to only share the happy art life...there is more.

Norma Ruttan said...

thank you, Stephanie, I appreciate your loving feedback.